@OKStateProbs: Welcome to OSU

By @OKStateProbs

Guest Writer

@theozoneonline

 

O’Colly File Photo

Hello. I’m @OKStateProbs.
First and foremost, I want to welcome you to the greatest place on earth – Oklahoma State University.
You have no clue how much fun you’re in for this year, and in college in general. You’ll laugh. You’ll love. You’ll pull all-nighters in the library. You’ll pull all-nighters at parties after the bar. You’ll pull all-nighters just for the heck of it. You’ll cry over some boy, and laugh about it a month later. You’ll find your future wife. You’ll find your best friend.
You’ll live.
It’s scientifically proven by scientists that Oklahoma State is the greatest college on earth, and it’s because of people like you.
Cling to your morals. Don’t forget who you are. Have integrity. Have. A. Blast.
A little bit about us: we’re the strongest Twitter account on earth, also proven by those scientists. We’re here for you. We’re an outlet to complain about OSU stuff in a fun way (Wait, there’s STILL construction here?!)

O’Colly File Photo

Most importantly, we love you. If you need us, DM us. Even if you don’t follow us. If you need to talk, we’re here for you. If you need to vent about how long the freaking Chick-Fil-A line is in the Union, we’re here for you.
This account has been in existence since Aug. 26, 2011. Our original creator graduated in May 2016 and is still the CEO, and he passed it down after careful consideration. That person then passed it to us after graduating this past May. That’s six years of students that have been exposed to this account.
We’ve seen a lot. We’ve lost best friends, including Brandon Cavazos last year. We’ve watched older friends graduate and move away (Shout out to Gents and our original owner).
While we want to welcome you, we also want you to know what college is about. This is likely the first time you’ve been on your own.
LIVE IT UP!
Talk to the pretty girl. Go out on a Tuesday if your homework is finished. Live life!
What’s the key to college, you ask? Here’s my short list:

  • Don’t drink and drive. Ever. Even if there’s a fire.
  • Love your friends.
  • Tip your servers and bartenders. If you can’t afford it, keep your ass at home
  • Finish your homework. If you don’t do it now, you never will.
  • START STRONG! Don’t be the guy that needs to make a 216 percent on your final to get an A. That guy sucks.
  • Fake ID’s don’t work. I promise. And most 21-plus year olds won’t risk jail to buy you alcohol. Figure it out if you want to drink, and best of luck. If you’re dumb enough to try, then turn around and leave when you’re caught. (You’ll get caught).
  • College is like having a job. Make your grades, and you get to stay. It’s that simple.
  • Naps.
  • Hide your alcohol when the RA comes. Most of them don’t care, but if they see it they have to take it, so just don’t be stupid.
  • Find what you love. Like playing PokemonGo? Do it. Love playing Call of Duty? There’s probably a club for that. Unless it’s riding Longboards, then transfer to OU.
  • Know you aren’t forced to hang out with anyone. There are 25k-plus people here. You will find someone that’s cool, you just have to leave your room to find them… Or swipe right, I guess.
  • Our first game is on a Thursday. That doesn’t leave us much time to tailgate. So know that if you’re going to secretly drink in class (and are of age): Put it in a sonic cup. Pour light. Squeeze a lemon.
  • Flights to Atlanta for the National Championship will go fast, so be ready.

Welcome to OSU. We love you. President Hargis loves you. Rickie Fowler loves you. Mike Holder loves you (if you pay for your tickets and are OK with coaches that are underpaid).
And know, that we’re the greatest place on earth, and that’s because of you. Please understand that. Please adhere to those standards.
Let’s have a GREAT year, and Go Pokes!

ozone@ocolly.com

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